Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
