Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
