Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
