paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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