I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
