wat bout pragnant strippers??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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