how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
