i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
