Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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