I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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