look no pants
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
