I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Terrible idea I love it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
