I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
