WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
