she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
