did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
