please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
