I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
