So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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