If i come over, it means nothing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
