well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
