I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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