you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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