Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
