i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
