You really coming over, don't trick.
If i come over, it means nothing
I hate your face
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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