Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
