I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
