I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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