her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
