U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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