party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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