i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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