you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
