dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize