I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
