I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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