dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
