one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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