I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
