; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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