There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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