the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
