You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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