Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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