your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
