You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
