**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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