idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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