Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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