I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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