Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she smelled like a LAN party
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
