I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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