Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
