I want to stick my p in your. b.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
