white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He passed out mid-signature
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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