So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
