maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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